Why 80% of Families Choose Based on Relationship—And How to Be the Funeral Home They Already Know

If you’re still betting your marketing dollars on “Serving Families Since 1912,” it’s time for a reality check: nobody cares.

They care about who you are. What you stand for. Whether you feel like someone they can trust with one of the most fragile moments of their life.

And here’s the hard truth most funeral directors don’t want to hear:

80% of families choose a funeral home based on some form of relationship.
The other 20%? Proximity.

That means if they know you—like really know you—they’re 90% of the way to making a decision without comparing prices or Googling your competitors.

So the question is: are you building that relationship… or just hoping one magically shows up when the phone rings?

Let me show you how one funeral home leaned into relationship-driven marketing—and tripled their business doing it.

Enter: The Small-Town Funeral Home With a Big Visibility Problem

Wagner, Elfner & Burg Funeral Home in Red Lion, PA, had been around for over a century. But when Katharine and her husband Nate took it over, it wasn’t exactly a thriving operation.

In fact, the previous owner had only taken 23 calls in the first five months of 2023. And this wasn’t because people in the community stopped dying. It’s because the funeral home had become invisible.

No marketing. No presence. No engagement.

They were spending money on the Yellow Pages while the rest of the town was scrolling Facebook.

Then came the pivot.

The Relationship Revolution (Fueled by Content)

When DISRUPT Media stepped in, our approach wasn’t complicated. It was consistency + personality = trust.

We helped Katharine stop hiding behind her business name and start building a personal brand people could connect with.

And it started small:

• Casual behind-the-scenes videos
• Real-time Q&As about death, funerals, and grief
• Authentic content showing Katharine, Nate, and their team being real humans

At first, she hated it. Didn’t want to be on camera. Didn’t like seeing herself talk. Didn’t think anyone would care.

Fast forward 18 months:

📈 Call volume nearly tripled
📈 Over 30,000 followers
📈 Millions of organic video views
📈 Regularly approached in public by people who say “Hey, I know you from Facebook!”

Why This Works: Relationship > Recognition

Most funeral home marketing looks like this:

• A generic family photo
• A tagline about “dignity” or “heritage”
• A logo slapped on a billboard
• Radio ads with a monotone voiceover about “caring service”

It’s… fine. It’s forgettable.

And worst of all, it’s not personal.

Katharine did the opposite. Her marketing looks like this:

• Her face on billboards
• Her voice on social media videos
• Her family in content
• Her real life—from walking through the grocery store to smuggling sushi into the hospital for her sister—being shared online in a way that’s transparent, not self-promotional

And that’s why people walk into the funeral home smiling and saying “Hey Katharine!” before she even introduces herself.

Because they already know her. They trust her. They’ve built a relationship—before a death has even occurred.

The Multi-Touchpoint Strategy (Not Just Social Media)

Let me be clear: this isn’t just about Facebook videos and Reels.

It’s about building a brand ecosystem where your community can’t escape you—and doesn’t want to.

Here’s what the full strategy looked like for Wagner, Elfner & Burg:

• Social Media Content: 90+ posts a month, including 50+ videos
• Billboards: High-visibility designs featuring team members and family-friendly humor
• Pre-Need Mailers: Consistent outreach that looked more like a note from a neighbor than a sales piece
• Local Sponsorships & Events: But with actual follow-up content, not just logos on a banner
• On-Site Visibility: Branded apparel, and open invitations for the community to be part of the journey (even choosing tile for their new facility)

It wasn’t just branding. It was a relationship funnel.

You see them on a billboard.
Then in your feed.
Then at an event.
Then in your mailbox.
Then when you actually need a funeral director... you don’t “search.” You just call Katharine.

But What About the Haters?

Let’s address it.

Yes, some funeral directors think this kind of marketing is “unprofessional.”
Yes, some think posting about the prep room is “crossing a line.”
Yes, some think that videos = influencers = cringe.

And those same people are still waiting for the phone to ring.

The families? They love it. They’re finally seeing behind the curtain. They’re learning, engaging, and feeling seen.

One family from California (yes, California) watched Katharine’s content and ended up prearranging their funeral because of it.

Let that sink in.

This Is the DISRUPT Difference

DISRUPT Media isn’t just a content vendor. We’re the partner that gives you:

✅ Strategy that works in your voice
✅ Creative that matches your market
✅ A system that helps you stay consistent
✅ Results that you can actually measure (calls, clicks, and conversations—not just “likes”)

We helped Katharine document, build, test, and refine her brand from Day 1. We didn’t give her a pre-packaged playbook. We co-wrote one with her.

And that’s exactly what we do for every funeral home we work with.

Final Thought

If 80% of the decision is based on relationship, and you’re doing nothing to build that relationship before the need—you’re already losing.

You don’t have to go viral.

You don’t have to be perfect on camera.

You just have to be consistent, be real, and stop hiding behind your heritage.

Be the funeral home they already know.